Dating the Bartender

Is it possible to hold a steady relationship while caught up in the bar scene? There are no definitive statistics to say yes or no, but coming from a girl who’s been in the industry for about 6 years, and been in relationships for just as long, I would have to say that it is more than possible.

Bar girls are humans too, and the only real difference between a bar girl and any other women is just the circumstances life put her in (“Bar Girls”). If your significant other is honest, open, and isn’t constantly asking for gifts then they are probably trustworthy and loyal regardless of their occupation, and you’re probably the only person their seeing. There is often judgment placed on women who get caught up working in the bar scene, when in reality many of us are working to make our own way through college or care for children in the most efficient ways. Yes, the bar scene is something that can ruin people, relationships, cause bad habits; but it is also something that can keep someone’s head above water, pay the bills, feed the children, etc. Though I want to defend everybody in the service industry, they aren’t all good eggs. There is a difference from if you are dating a bartender that’s in her twenties compared to one in their thirties or forties; the bartenders in their twenties are usually still in school and need to bartend to get by for a couple of years, the bartenders that are older may have questionable lifestyles with little goals and bad habits (Pulls). Some can simply love the attention that they get while bartending and let that alone stand in the way of their relationships, whereas others just go to work, work to pay the bills, and go home while minding their own business, likely because they have no other choice. If you are looking to date your bartender, you have to understand their world; the fact that they go to work and have to be talkative, cordial, chatty and possibly even flirty, and then you should communicate to them that you aren’t a part of the normal bar-going crowd, that you and your intentions are different (Pulls).

The most important part about dating anyone, of any profession, is to know him or her deeper than their job title. If you are just starting off dating someone who happens to be a bartender or work in the service industry, you may be skeptical at first because you have previously seen them flirting at work, or doing their job, as they see it. Soon enough, though, you will know that person deeper than their job title, and their job will no longer matter or weigh on your mind. If they do turn out to be one of the rotten ones, then you will have a lesson learned; but at the end of the day, it isn’t the industry but the person in it.


Pulls, Jake. “How to Date a Bartender.” THE GIRLFRIEND FASTLANE BLOG , Blogspot, 2 June 2015,

“Bar girls and the business of love.” ThisDating, ThisDating Inc., 2 Apr. 2016,